Here are 13 traits of a toxic person.

13 signs a person is toxic:

• They drain your energy leaving you feeling emotionally exhausted.
• They are takers… They take your time, self esteem, relationships, money, Happiness, peace …
• You spend min, hours or days ruminating about the interaction with them and are left feeling confused and baffled.
• They bully or intimidate to get there way. Making you “the problem”.
• They make everything all about them.
• They try to control you by guilting you or wanting you to pity them.
• They are easily jealous.
• They play the victim. They feel they are wronged regularly
• They do not take responsibility for their words or actions and twist your words around against you.
• They are not sincere. They talk badly about you behind your back but in front of you pretend they are supportive.
• They’re overly defensive.
• They’re emotions are unpredictable and you feel like you are walking on eggshells around them.
• You feel you can’t be accept as you are or be yourself around them.

For each of these trait’s a person has the more toxic they are. If you have encountered one or more of the above traits you have come across a toxic person.

Toxic people do not have your best intentions in mind even though they may tell you the contrary. Trust your gut on this one. Your gut feeling will always lead you down the right path. I have been a counselor for over 20 years and have never had anyone regret trusting and acting on their gut feeling. But I have heard 100’s of story’s of what can go wrong when you do not listen to your gut. It is your best most trusted and reliable guide.

Toxic people often do not interact with us rationally. What I mean by rational thought is for example 2+2=4. Everyone knows 2+2=4 that is rational thought. It is logical. It is based on reality. Toxic people’s reality will not match with your reality or truth. Toxic people distort reality and are convinced that 2+2= whatever they want. They can express this with strong conviction and emotion making you question yourself. You will find that what was said or the behavior that was done feels off. It feels… not right but, you cannot put it into words. You just know. This is how you know. because deep down you feel there was a form a abuse that happened to you so clever, sneaky and manipulative you do not know how to categorize it or make sense of it.

When dealing with someone who is toxic and not rational. There is no use trying to explain yourself because they will not agree, understand or validate you. They will make you feel small and wrong leaving you feeling out of balance and doubting yourself.

What to do:

After you try your arsenal of trying to understand and clarify what is happening and you still feel the relationship has not changed. Understand their behavior is not rational and toxxic to you. It is not your fault and it is not your job to convince them otherwise. You could spend a life time trying to have them understand your side. The best thing to do is to cut ties. Yup. Cut ties. You will save yourself time, self esteem, energy, money. peace of mind and happiness. Set boundaries. Say “no” to them and say yes to you.

with kind regards,

Stuart

They do it with such conviction that we doubt our own reality.