This blog is from my new Podcast episode 11 Kiss the Girl.

You can also listen to this 13 min podcast by clicking on the link below. You will thank yourself later for it.

www.sobrietynowwhat.com

Hi, I’m Stuart Cline—a master’s level addiction counselor and success coach, and the host of Sobriety Now What? Today, I want to share a story I never planned to tell. Honestly, I debated whether to even bring it up. But for two weeks, this memory kept tapping me on the shoulder. Every other podcast idea fell flat. Every interview fell through.

And it felt like the universe was saying, “Not yet. Tell that story.”

So I’m listening.

And maybe—just maybe—you’re reading this today because there’s something here you need to hear.

Because this isn’t just a story about teenage heartbreak or nostalgia. It’s about trusting your gut. Taking the risk. Feeling the fear and doing it anyway. It’s about learning from missed moments and remembering the people who helped us become who we are.

This is the story of the night I didn’t kiss the girl. But more importantly, it’s about the boy who helped me learn to live.

A Real-Life 1980s Movie (With a Twist)

I had my own coming-of-age moment—like something out of Pretty in Pink or Sixteen Candles. But instead of a perfect, movie-worthy ending, I froze. I overthought. I missed the moment. And it haunted me for years.

The backdrop? Freshman year in New Jersey. A massive new school. Social anxiety. Learning differences. I spent my first week eating alone—until three senior girls kicked me out of the senior cafeteria I didn’t realize was off-limits.

But then something happened.

A boy walked over. Another freshman.
“Hi, I’m Sam,” he said.
He sat down. Ate lunch with me. Introduced me to his friends. And just like that, I wasn’t invisible anymore.

We were best friends for the next four years.

Everyone Needs a Sam

Sam was everything I wasn’t—confident, outgoing, magnetic. He pulled me into his world: basketball games, guitar sessions, summer camp, double dates. He even inspired me to be a counselor-in-training at a camp in New Hampshire, where I had my first kiss—from a French Canadian girl. I walked away thinking, “I’m now an international kisser.” (17-year-old logic, right?)

Sam called me into life. He helped me say yes to things I would’ve avoided. And he never hogged the spotlight—he always let others shine.

The Party of a Lifetime

Fast forward to senior year. I had switched schools, but Sam and I still stayed close. One day, he called me up:
“Debbie’s throwing a black-tie charity ball—celebs, athletes, New York socialites. She said you can come, too.”

We showed up early—me in a rented tux, completely out of my element. Valet parking. Waiters with hors d’oeuvres. Debbie’s mansion just blocks from Bruce Springsteen’s house.

We were surrounded by lights, music, laughter, and wealth I couldn’t imagine. At 3 a.m., overstimulated and exhausted, I slipped into the quiet living room to catch my breath.

That’s when she walked in.

Barefoot, heels in hand, perfume soft in the air—Debbie sat down next to me on the couch like she had nowhere else to be. She leaned in, just inches from my face, and whispered…

“What are you thinking?”

I froze.

And instead of trusting the moment, I asked for permission.

“I want to kiss you,” I said.

She laughed. Hard. Loud. The kind of laugh you feel in your bones. And then… she walked away.

The movie moment I had imagined? Gone.

I left the party early, alone under the cold New Jersey stars in a tuxedo, humiliated and silent.

Why I’m Telling You This

Is this about my “glory days,” like Springsteen sings? Maybe a little. But more than that, it’s about what this story taught me.

Because yes—I missed the kiss.
But I also gained something much bigger.

I gained Sam.

He changed the trajectory of my life with one simple act: he saw me, sat down, and made space for me.

He didn’t just lead others—he led his life. He was bold, kind, and unafraid to take action.

And without him? I wouldn’t be telling you this story today.
I wouldn’t have had that first kiss.
I wouldn’t have known what friendship could look like.
I wouldn’t have felt like I belonged.

Sam, his family, and the way they lived were blessings. They gave me something to rise toward.

Who Was Your Sam?

Take a moment.

Who saw you when you felt invisible?
Who included you, believed in you, or helped you feel worthy—maybe for the first time?

Close your eyes and let yourself feel that moment.
And now… what if you became that person for someone else?

Your Challenge This Week

Push past your comfort zone.
Start a conversation.
Sit with someone who’s alone.
Invite someone into your circle.

Be a Sam.

Because you never know how far that ripple will travel.

You never know who might be telling their story one day—and naming you as the reason they believed they mattered.

Thriving Thought

That was today’s Thriving Thought.

If this story moved you, made you smile, or stirred something in your heart—leave a 5-star review or share it with someone who needs it.

And if you’re not sure what to write in the comments?

Just say:
“Thanks, Sam.”

Because without people like him—I wouldn’t have lived this story.
And you wouldn’t have heard it.

Until next time—trust your gut. Take the risk. And when in doubt?

Kiss the girl.

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keep up the great work.

My best, Stuart