By Stuart Cline, MA, LPCC, LADAC, Recovery Success Coach

When I work with clients with addiction or recovery or those navigating difficult life transitions, I often hear the phrase:
“I was just coping the best I could.”

But over time, I’ve come to question that word—coping.

Because more often than not, the person wasn’t coping…
They were pausing the problem.
Delaying it.
Numbing it.
Escaping it.

And the truth is: there’s a big difference between coping and pausing.

What Is True Coping?

Real coping means managing your problems in a way that brings clarity, healing, and growth.
It might be messy, uncomfortable, or slow—but it’s intentional.
It’s facing what hurts rather than running from it.

True coping often looks like:

• Talking it through with someone safe
• Journaling your feelings
• Setting boundaries
• Asking for help
• Meditating, moving your body, or getting perspective
• Taking small steps forward with your values in mind

Coping takes effort, awareness, and courage.

What’s Really Happening When We “Cope” by Using?

Addictive behaviors often feel like coping because they provide temporary relief.
But they rarely resolve the core issue.

Instead, they:

• Pause the emotional discomfort
• Distract from unresolved pain
• Delay growth or decisions
• Create additional problems (shame, guilt, health issues, relationship strain)

The pain is still there.
You’ve just pressed pause—like putting a movie on hold—only the plot keeps thickening off-screen.

Words Matter

When we call escaping “coping,” we give it a legitimacy it doesn’t deserve.

That’s not judgment. It’s truth with compassion.

Here’s a reframe I often use:

“Coping moves us forward. Escaping presses pause. Healing begins when we stop confusing the two.”

We don’t need to shame ourselves for the ways we’ve survived—but we do need to name things accurately if we want to change.

A Question to Reflect On:

Is what I’m doing helping me face the issue… or just avoid it?

That one question can lead to powerful breakthroughs.

The Good News

Once you stop pausing your problems and start coping with intention, you begin to reclaim your power.

Every day, people in recovery prove they can:

• Feel their feelings without being consumed by them
• Face reality without escaping it
• Build strength instead of hiding from pain

And so can you.

You have the power to trade the pause button for progress.

You were meant to thrive—sober, awake, and fully alive.
It’s time.

With Kind Regards,

Stuart