What happens when a retired hostage negotiator, a retired businessman, and a counselor walk past a bar?

No, it’s not the setup for a joke. It’s the start of one of the most honest and heartfelt conversations I’ve had on Sobriety Now What.

In this week’s episode, I sit down again with two longtime friends of the podcast, Colm and Mike. Colm is a retired businessman, Mike is a retired hostage negotiator, and both have over 35 years of continuous sobriety. Together, we share nearly 200 years of life experience, and we use that time to reflect on the role Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) played in their recovery, the lessons they’ve learned, and how sobriety continues to shape their lives today.

Why This Conversation Matters

So many people enter sobriety with questions: Do I really belong in AA? Is it too religious? What if I don’t like the meetings I go to? Is it really the only way?

Colm and Mike are the first to say: AA isn’t for everyone. But it worked for them. And in this episode, they unpack why, while also talking candidly about the misconceptions that keep people away.

We explore:

• The first AA meetings and what kept them coming back (even when they didn’t want to).
• Myths and misunderstandings about AA, from “13th stepping” to “AA Nazis” to whether it’s really religious.
• The role of structure and connection in recovery.
• Why anger, honesty, and friendship can make or break sobriety.
• What “recovering” really means after 35 years.

A Fly on the Wall

One of my favorite parts of this conversation is how natural it feels. This isn’t a lecture, it’s a friendship. Colm, Mike, and I don’t always see things the same way—but that’s the beauty of recovery. There isn’t just one voice or one path.

As Colm said, “I didn’t want a path to God. I wanted a path to sobriety.”
As Mike shared, “I never wanted to be sober… until the train wreck got too close.”

Their stories are real, raw, and sometimes even funny. Listening to them, you’ll feel like you pulled up a chair in the corner and got to overhear two old-timers talking about what matters most in recovery.

Takeaways for Your Journey

If you’re in early sobriety, or even just questioning your relationship with alcohol, here are a few gems from this episode to carry with you:

• Connection is a lifeline. Whether it’s a sponsor, a friend, or a fellow traveler, don’t go it alone.
• AA is a tool, not a prison. If one meeting doesn’t fit, try another—or explore other programs. Recovery isn’t one-size-fits-all.
• Anger is dangerous fuel. Learn to pause, reach out, and call for help before it drives you to drink.
• Take what you need, leave the rest. Not every piece of advice is for you, and that’s okay.
• Happiness is possible. After 35 years, both Colm and Mike say the word that best describes sobriety is “happy.”

Listen Now

If you’ve ever wondered what long-term sobriety looks like, or wanted an inside look at AA without the stigma, this conversation is for you.

🎧 Listen to the full episode here →

And if it speaks to you, please share it with a friend who might need encouragement today.

Because sobriety isn’t just about quitting drinking—it’s about building a life worth staying sober for.