Recover Loudly: Serena Palmer on ADHD, Addiction, and Sobriety

Posted on September 1, 2025 by Stuart Cline

Recover Loudly: Serena Palmer on ADHD, Addiction, and Sobriety

On Sobriety Now What? I had the privilege of speaking with writer, speaker, and advocate Serena Palmer in a powerful two-part series that dives deep into the realities of ADHD, addiction, shame, and recovery.

Serena is the author of the memoir My Two Brains and Me, where she shares her raw and personal journey through addiction and sobriety. Her mantra, “recover loudly so others don’t die quietly,” is more than a phrase—it’s a call to courage and honesty that has inspired countless people in recovery.

Check out the podcast with her interview now at: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2390237/episodes/17757949

Part One: Living With Two Brains

In the first episode, Serena introduces the idea of having “two brains”:

  • The rational brain that loves, works, creates, and connects.
  • The addict brain that manipulates, lies, and convinces us to make destructive choices.

She describes how ADHD shaped her early life, often being labeled as “Serena the Dreamer.” What others saw as distraction or laziness was actually her ADHD brain—filled with imagination, curiosity, and endless questions. Unfortunately, this was misinterpreted, leading to years of shame and self-criticism.

That shame fueled her drinking. Addiction became a way to silence the inner critic, but over time, the addict brain took control. Serena shared the painful truth of living with this duality—looking “normal” on the outside while her life was falling apart inside.

Part Two: The Turning Point in Recovery

The second episode continues with Serena’s time in rehab, where she faced a life-changing moment of truth. She describes the agony of finally seeing the harm her drinking caused, especially to her daughter: “The most painful part of my addiction wasn’t what I did to myself—it was what my daughter had to live through.”

For two days she sat in grief, unable to eat or sleep, but this pain became the doorway to transformation. From there, she embraced honesty as the foundation of recovery.

In part two, Serena shares the practices that keep her grounded:

  • Gratitude journaling — “Gratitude became the cornerstone of my recovery—it bookends my day.”
  • Living in truth — choosing honesty over hiding or manipulating.
  • Spirituality — surrendering to a higher power and trusting that “the universe has a plan for me.”
  • Community — showing up for others in recovery and letting them show up for her.

She also talks about how her “why” for sobriety has shifted over time—from survival, to family, to living fully in each chapter of life. Today, she no longer races to be “fixed.” Instead, she embraces recovery as a lifelong journey: “Recovery isn’t a race. It comes in chapters—and each chapter reveals something new.”

Why Serena’s Story Matters

Serena’s story shines a light on the intersection of ADHD, shame, and addiction—an area that is often misunderstood. She reminds us that:

  • Addiction is not about weakness, but about brain chemistry and pain.
  • Children with ADHD are often mislabeled, leading to lifelong struggles with self-worth.
  • Facing the truth—no matter how painful—is the first step toward healing.
  • Sobriety doesn’t take life away. As Serena says, “I’ve lost nothing from being sober and gained everything.”

Listen to the Full Conversation

🎧 You can listen to this two-part series of Sobriety Now What? wherever you get your podcasts:

Serena’s courage to “recover loudly” is an invitation to all of us to live more honestly, compassionately, and openly. Whether you’re in recovery yourself, supporting someone you love, or simply looking for inspiration, her story will leave you with hope.

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Colm & Mike: 35 Years Sober — Honest Reflections on AA, Recovery, and Life

Posted on August 18, 2025 by Stuart Cline

What happens when a retired hostage negotiator, a retired businessman, and a counselor walk past a bar?

No, it’s not the setup for a joke. It’s the start of one of the most honest and heartfelt conversations I’ve had on Sobriety Now What.

In this week’s episode, I sit down again with two longtime friends of the podcast, Colm and Mike. Colm is a retired businessman, Mike is a retired hostage negotiator, and both have over 35 years of continuous sobriety. Together, we share nearly 200 years of life experience, and we use that time to reflect on the role Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) played in their recovery, the lessons they’ve learned, and how sobriety continues to shape their lives today.

Why This Conversation Matters

So many people enter sobriety with questions: Do I really belong in AA? Is it too religious? What if I don’t like the meetings I go to? Is it really the only way?

Colm and Mike are the first to say: AA isn’t for everyone. But it worked for them. And in this episode, they unpack why, while also talking candidly about the misconceptions that keep people away.

We explore:

  • The first AA meetings and what kept them coming back (even when they didn’t want to).
  • Myths and misunderstandings about AA, from “13th stepping” to “AA Nazis” to whether it’s really religious.
  • The role of structure and connection in recovery.
  • Why anger, honesty, and friendship can make or break sobriety.
  • What “recovering” really means after 35 years.

A Fly on the Wall

One of my favorite parts of this conversation is how natural it feels. This isn’t a lecture, it’s a friendship. Colm, Mike, and I don’t always see things the same way—but that’s the beauty of recovery. There isn’t just one voice or one path.

As Colm said, “I didn’t want a path to God. I wanted a path to sobriety.”
As Mike shared, “I never wanted to be sober… until the train wreck got too close.”

Their stories are real, raw, and sometimes even funny. Listening to them, you’ll feel like you pulled up a chair in the corner and got to overhear two old-timers talking about what matters most in recovery.

Takeaways for Your Journey

If you’re in early sobriety, or even just questioning your relationship with alcohol, here are a few gems from this episode to carry with you:

  • Connection is a lifeline. Whether it’s a sponsor, a friend, or a fellow traveler, don’t go it alone.
  • AA is a tool, not a prison. If one meeting doesn’t fit, try another—or explore other programs. Recovery isn’t one-size-fits-all.
  • Anger is dangerous fuel. Learn to pause, reach out, and call for help before it drives you to drink.
  • Take what you need, leave the rest. Not every piece of advice is for you, and that’s okay.
  • Happiness is possible. After 35 years, both Colm and Mike say the word that best describes sobriety is “happy.”

Listen Now

If you’ve ever wondered what long-term sobriety looks like, or wanted an inside look at AA without the stigma, this conversation is for you.

🎧 Listen to the full episode here →

And if it speaks to you, please share it with a friend who might need encouragement today.

Because sobriety isn’t just about quitting drinking—it’s about building a life worth staying sober for.

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Healing Without Reliving the Pain: My Conversation with Colette Streicher, Creator of MAP

Posted on August 4, 2025 by Stuart Cline

Healing Without Reliving the Pain: My Conversation with Colette Streicher, Creator of MAP

Take a listen to my 2 part series with Colette Streicher on Sobrietynowwhat.com

What if the way you’ve been trying to heal is actually making things harder?

If you’ve ever thought, “I’ve done the work. So why do I still feel stuck?”—you’re not alone. That question comes up all the time with the clients I work with. People in recovery. People who’ve gone to therapy for years. People who’ve tried every mindset trick, affirmation, and strategy out there… and still feel like they’re fighting invisible chains.

So I want to share something that shook me—in a good way.

A few weeks ago, I tried a 2-hour workshop called The MAP Experience, led by Colette Streicher, the founder of the MAP Coaching Institute. What happened in that workshop was so impactful that I immediately reached out and asked her to come on my podcast.

We recorded a powerful two-part series that I now believe every person in recovery should hear.

Who Is Colette Streicher—and Why Should You Listen?

Colette’s story starts in a home filled with addiction, trauma, and pain. She was only 9 years old when she decided: “I’m going to be happy—and help others heal, too.” That vow launched a lifelong search across therapy, yoga, energy work, and neuroscience… all of it aimed at one question:

“Is there a way to truly heal without having to relive the trauma?”

The answer turned out to be yes.

After decades of study, Colette developed MAP, which stands for Make Anything Possible—a method that gently rewires subconscious beliefs, clears emotional blocks, and helps people break free from the old programming that keeps them stuck.

And here’s the kicker: you don’t have to talk about your trauma at all.

🧠 What Makes MAP Different?

Unlike traditional therapy, MAP works by giving precise instructions to the brain while you stay in a relaxed, mindful state. It’s backed by neuroscience, yet feels like a guided meditation. It addresses the root of emotional pain, not just the symptoms. And it’s fast, gentle, and effective—especially for those in sobriety who want to stop the cycle of self-sabotage.

Here’s what MAP can help with:

  • Cravings and addiction triggers
  • Money blocks and fear of success
  • Grief, guilt, and shame
  • Chronic anxiety and emotional overwhelm
  • Childhood trauma that still runs your life

🙌 Why I’m Sharing This With You

Look, I don’t bring just anyone on the Sobriety Now What? podcast. But I’ve personally experienced Colette’s work. I’ve seen what MAP can do especially for people trying to stay sober, rebuild after trauma, or find hope again.

If you’re tired of trying harder… if you’re ready to try something different… this could be it.

💡 How to Get Started

Colette offers a MAP Experience Masterclass—a 2-hour live workshop where you’ll get to experience the power of MAP firsthand. It’s just $37 and includes a free bonus training.

🎁 Use my 10% off code: STUART
✅ Valid on all eligible offers (applied to first payment for plans/subscriptions)

🔗 Sign up here →
👉 MAP Experience Masterclass ($37)

🧭 Explore Other MAP Programs

If you’re curious about going deeper, here are more options from the MAP Coaching Institute (use the same coupon code: STUART for 10% off):

Final Thoughts

Whether you’re a year into sobriety or still thinking about making that first change, I want you to know this:

You are not broken. You do not have to fight forever. Healing is possible—and it doesn’t have to hurt.

I truly hope you check it out. I wouldn’t be sharing this if I didn’t believe it could change lives—including yours.

With hope and healing,
Stuart Cline
Host of Sobriety Now What?

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Ep 14 – Jam Alker- From Rockstar to Rock Bottom, How to Thrive in Sobriety.

Posted on July 14, 2025 by Stuart Cline

Sobriety Now What? (SNW) podcast ep 14

Sobrietynowwhat.com

New Sobriety Now What? Podcast episode!! Yippee, Here is the blog for Ep 14 of Sobriety Now What? Take a listen and click below. https://www.buzzsprout.com/2390237/episodes/17505942

Jam Alker – From Rockstar to Rock Bottom, Now Thriving in Sobriety. His Journey of Healing, Music, and Sobriety

What happens when the dream life you built—touring with your band, living large, signed to a major label—suddenly crashes down around you? In episode 14 of Sobriety Now What?, I sat down with Jam Alker, a Chicago-based musician, entrepreneur, and wellness advocate whose story is anything but ordinary.

Jam isn’t just a man who got sober—he’s a man who turned his entire life into an instrument of transformation.

Raised in a home marked by trauma and chaos, Jam found solace and expression through music. But like many of us, he developed unhealthy coping strategies early on that later spiraled into full-blown addiction—specifically heroin. Even the birth of his daughter couldn’t break the chains of his habit…until it did. One day, Jam made the decision to surrender fully. Not a “maybe I’ll try” kind of surrender—a two-knees-on-the-floor kind of surrender. And that changed everything.

🎸 Healing Through Song

In treatment, Jam was blessed with a counselor who saw beyond the traditional approach and invited him to do his recovery work through songwriting. Instead of journaling, he wrote lyrics. Instead of reciting steps, he sang truths. This creative shift unlocked something in him and ultimately led to the creation of an entire album chronicling his addiction and healing journey.

This wasn’t just therapy. It became transformation. It also became service. Jam began visiting treatment centers, helping others write songs about their pain and their healing. That spirit of service eventually birthed the I’m a Seed Foundation—named after a powerful song Jam wrote, celebrating the idea that even when buried, we can grow.

💥 Rockstar Turned Healer

Just when it seemed his music career was reborn—touring nationally, signed to Sony, with a European tour on the horizon—COVID struck. The world shut down, and so did the music. But rather than relapse or give up, Jam went inward.

A severe case of colitis launched him into a holistic health journey that would once again change his life. Facing chronic inflammation, pain, and doctors with few answers, Jam took healing into his own hands. He studied biohacking, detox, and anti-inflammatory nutrition. He learned about red light therapy, hyperbaric oxygen, and gut health. And he healed.

Today, at 54, he says he feels better than he did at 30.

🧠 Recovery 2.0: Beyond Sobriety

In our conversation, Jam shares a concept he calls Recovery 2.0—the idea that the same principles that help us get sober can also help us thrive in every part of life. Discipline over motivation. Service over self. Courage over fear. Instead of stopping at the sobriety date, why not use that same strength to pursue wellness, purpose, and expansion?

Jam reminds us that transformation doesn’t end with getting clean—it begins there.

🌱 The Seed Mentality

Jam lives by the mindset that we’re all seeds. Even when we feel buried, we’re not done—we’re ready to grow. Pain doesn’t have to be the end of the story. In fact, it can be the beginning of your most powerful chapter.

🎧 Tune In

If you’re wondering what’s next on your recovery path—or if you just need a reminder that it’s never too late to start again—this episode will inspire you to think bigger, dig deeper, and rise higher.

You can listen to the full episode here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2390237/episodes/17505942

Final Thought:
Jam’s story is a testimony to the power of radical acceptance, creativity, and the unshakable drive to live fully. Whether you’re one day sober or one decade in, may his journey remind you: You are not broken. You are becoming.

Thanks for stopping by and I hope you feel better then when you did arriving.

With kind regards,

Stuart

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No Days Off for Kindness: Another Podcast Episode

Posted on June 30, 2025 by Stuart Cline

Click here to listen now: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2390237/episodes/17420952

This is a new blog post taken from my new episode with Francesca Donlan on Sobriety Now What?podcast with Stuart Cline.

How often do you think about kindness? Not just the small courtesies—holding a door, offering a smile—but the deliberate, creative acts that ripple far beyond your own life.

Francesca Donlan, a writer and kindness advocate, decided she wouldn’t just think about it. She would live it—every day, no days off—for a year. Recently, I had the privilege of checking in with her at the six-month mark of her Year of Kindness to hear what she’s learned, how it’s changed her, and why she believes it matters more than ever.

Here are some of the most powerful takeaways from our conversation—insights and ideas you can use to bring more kindness into your own life.

1. Kindness Doesn’t Have to Be Perfect—or Convenient

Francesca set out to do something extraordinary: commit one intentional act of kindness every day and share about it publicly.

That meant she quickly discovered that real life rarely rolls out the red carpet for good deeds. There were days when she was tired, traveling, or simply didn’t have a ready opportunity. One evening, she was in Florida and hadn’t found a kindness yet—so she ended up at Walmart near midnight buying a plant pot to rescue her friend’s dying houseplant.

Was it glamorous? Not at all. But it was real. And in her words:

“Not every day offers you an opportunity. You have to look for them. And sometimes you have to create them.”

Takeaway: Kindness isn’t about perfection or performance. It’s about staying open-hearted—even when it’s uncomfortable or inconvenient.

2. Sharing Kindness Stories is Not Bragging—It’s Contagious

Many people hesitate to share their positive actions, worried it will sound self-congratulatory. But Francesca has learned the opposite is true:

“People are hesitant to post kindness, but when you do, you light other people’s candles. If you don’t share it, you’re dimming the light.”

She recalled posting about buying coffee for someone in a drive-thru. A man in Luxembourg read her story and paid for five strangers’ coffees the next day. Kindness went global because she dared to share.

Takeaway: Your acts of goodness can inspire more goodness. Let people know. Your story could be the spark for someone else’s change.

3. Kindness Is an Action—and It’s Healing

Francesca distinguishes between being “nice”—which can be polite but passive—and being kind, which is active.

Since starting this practice, she has felt not only emotionally uplifted but physically healthier. For the first time in years, she made it through the winter without her annual bout of bronchitis or pneumonia.

“I’m happier. I’m healthier. It feels like it’s healing me.”

Takeaway: Doing something positive every day doesn’t just help others. It strengthens your own resilience, too.

4. You Can Start Small—Really Small

If you want to try a kindness practice, you don’t need a big budget or a lot of time. Here are Francesca’s ideas for simple ways to start:

  • Smile at strangers.
  • Genuinely ask “How are you?” and listen.
  • Drop off food to a local pantry.
  • Leave a compliment card on someone’s table.
  • Put a positive note inside a library book.
  • Offer sincere appreciation to cashiers or service workers.

Even these tiny gestures can ripple further than you’ll ever see.

5. Be Kind to Yourself, Too

One of Francesca’s biggest lessons has been recognizing her own resistance to self-compassion. When she called her injured ankle “stupid,” a friend gently pointed out how unkind that was to the body that had carried her all her life.

Since then, she’s committed to treating herself with the same warmth and respect she offers to others:

“If you can be good to yourself, you can be better to other people.”

Takeaway: Kindness must include you. Your healing, rest, and self-talk matter.

6. Vulnerability Is Part of the Deal

Francesca admits she has felt vulnerable many times—walking up to strangers, worrying if she’d be misunderstood, or posting about her acts online. But without vulnerability, none of it would be possible.

In her words:

“I do feel vulnerable. But so far, I don’t have one negative story to tell.”

And that vulnerability has connected her to a global community of kindness advocates—people she would never have met otherwise.

7. The Ripple Effect Is Real

From a drive-thru in Rhode Island to a café in Luxembourg, Francesca’s experiences show how quickly one act can multiply. You never know whose day—or life—you might change.

“There’s so much we can do right now. Especially right now.”

Ready to Begin?

If you feel inspired to start your own kindness practice, here’s Francesca’s advice:

  • Start slow.
  • Look for small ways to help.
  • Be willing to feel a little awkward.
  • Share your stories—someone out there needs them.
  • And above all, be gentle with yourself.

Join the Kindness Movement

If you’d like to follow Francesca’s journey, you can connect with her on LinkedIn (Francesca Donlan) or join her Facebook group, the $10 Kindness Club, where people share daily acts of kindness big and small.

Thanks for coming. You are going to have a wonderful day!

With kind regards,

Stuart

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New Podcast Episodes Ahead—and A Daily Phrase to Change Your Life

Posted on June 28, 2025 by Stuart Cline

🌿 New Podcast Episodes Ahead—and A Daily Phrase to Change Your Life

Click here to listen to EP 12: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2390237/episodes/17415334

Welcome back, friends.

I’m excited to share that Sobriety Now What? is returning with fresh inspiration, powerful stories, and practical tools to help you thrive in sobriety—and in life. Whether you’re just starting your journey or have been walking this path for years, you deserve support that feels uplifting and real.

In our latest short episode, I take a few moments to say thank you for your patience while I stepped back to recharge. Like so many of us, I needed time to rest, reflect, and refocus before coming back stronger. It’s a good reminder: even in recovery, we’re allowed to pause and take care of ourselves.

🌟 What’s Coming Next on the Podcast?

Here’s a glimpse at the inspiring conversations coming your way:

✅ A Year of Kindness
My sister, Francesca Donlin, is six months into her commitment to do one kind act every day and share it on social media. We’ll talk about what she’s learning about compassion, connection, and how small gestures can create big change.

✅ Whole-Health Wealth
I’ll sit down with Matt Paradise, author of Financially Capable. Matt went from an addicted, homeless teenager to a respected educator teaching people how to build financial health. If you’ve ever struggled with debt or felt intimidated by money, you’ll love this conversation.

✅ The Healing Power of Music
Jam Alker, a former touring rock musician turned wellness visionary, joins us to share how music, mindfulness, and nutrition helped him recover and thrive. His story is proof that healing can look creative, unexpected, and deeply personal.

✅ The Dynamic Duo Returns
Colm and Mike, our very first guests from Episodes 1 and 2, return to the roundtable to talk through powerful topics from my upcoming workbook about living your next chapter stronger, healthier, and more fulfilled.

💫 A Simple Phrase to Change Your Perspective

Before closing this episode, I share a simple affirmation I invite you to practice every morning and night:

“Today is filled with opportunities, and something wonderful is going to happen to me today.”

Say it when you wake up.
Say it before you fall asleep.
Write it down and carry it in your pocket.

Try it for 30 days and see how it gently shifts your mindset toward hope, gratitude, and possibility. Even on hard days, there is still goodness waiting to be noticed.

💚 Let’s Grow Together

This podcast exists because none of us have to figure this out alone. Whether you’re one week sober or celebrating decades, you belong here. Together, we can evolve, break old patterns, and write better stories for ourselves and the people we love.

Thank you for being part of this community. New episodes are just around the corner.

Until then, stay kind, take care of yourself, and remember—something wonderful is going to happen to you today.

With gratitude,
Stuart Cline
Host of Sobriety Now What?

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Are You Really Coping… or Just Pausing the Problem?

Posted on June 21, 2025 by Stuart Cline

By Stuart Cline, MA, LPCC, LADAC, Recovery Success Coach

When I work with clients with addiction or recovery or those navigating difficult life transitions, I often hear the phrase:
“I was just coping the best I could.”

But over time, I’ve come to question that word—coping.

Because more often than not, the person wasn’t coping…
They were pausing the problem.
Delaying it.
Numbing it.
Escaping it.

And the truth is: there’s a big difference between coping and pausing.

What Is True Coping?

Real coping means managing your problems in a way that brings clarity, healing, and growth.
It might be messy, uncomfortable, or slow—but it’s intentional.
It’s facing what hurts rather than running from it.

True coping often looks like:

  • Talking it through with someone safe
  • Journaling your feelings
  • Setting boundaries
  • Asking for help
  • Meditating, moving your body, or getting perspective
  • Taking small steps forward with your values in mind

Coping takes effort, awareness, and courage.

What’s Really Happening When We “Cope” by Using?

Addictive behaviors often feel like coping because they provide temporary relief.
But they rarely resolve the core issue.

Instead, they:

  • Pause the emotional discomfort
  • Distract from unresolved pain
  • Delay growth or decisions
  • Create additional problems (shame, guilt, health issues, relationship strain)

The pain is still there.
You’ve just pressed pause—like putting a movie on hold—only the plot keeps thickening off-screen.

Words Matter

When we call escaping “coping,” we give it a legitimacy it doesn’t deserve.

That’s not judgment. It’s truth with compassion.

Here’s a reframe I often use:

“Coping moves us forward. Escaping presses pause. Healing begins when we stop confusing the two.”

We don’t need to shame ourselves for the ways we’ve survived—but we do need to name things accurately if we want to change.

A Question to Reflect On:

Is what I’m doing helping me face the issue… or just avoid it?

That one question can lead to powerful breakthroughs.

The Good News

Once you stop pausing your problems and start coping with intention, you begin to reclaim your power.

Every day, people in recovery prove they can:

  • Feel their feelings without being consumed by them
  • Face reality without escaping it
  • Build strength instead of hiding from pain

And so can you.

You have the power to trade the pause button for progress.

You were meant to thrive—sober, awake, and fully alive.
It’s time.

With Kind Regards,

Stuart

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Kiss the Girl: A Story About Intuition, Missed Moments, and the Power of One Friendship

Posted on May 26, 2025 by Stuart Cline

This blog is from my new Podcast episode 11 Kiss the Girl.

You can also listen to this 13 min podcast by clicking on the link below. You will thank yourself later for it.

www.sobrietynowwhat.com

Hi, I’m Stuart Cline—a master’s level addiction counselor and success coach, and the host of Sobriety Now What? Today, I want to share a story I never planned to tell. Honestly, I debated whether to even bring it up. But for two weeks, this memory kept tapping me on the shoulder. Every other podcast idea fell flat. Every interview fell through.

And it felt like the universe was saying, “Not yet. Tell that story.”

So I’m listening.

And maybe—just maybe—you’re reading this today because there’s something here you need to hear.

Because this isn’t just a story about teenage heartbreak or nostalgia. It’s about trusting your gut. Taking the risk. Feeling the fear and doing it anyway. It’s about learning from missed moments and remembering the people who helped us become who we are.

This is the story of the night I didn’t kiss the girl. But more importantly, it’s about the boy who helped me learn to live.

A Real-Life 1980s Movie (With a Twist)

I had my own coming-of-age moment—like something out of Pretty in Pink or Sixteen Candles. But instead of a perfect, movie-worthy ending, I froze. I overthought. I missed the moment. And it haunted me for years.

The backdrop? Freshman year in New Jersey. A massive new school. Social anxiety. Learning differences. I spent my first week eating alone—until three senior girls kicked me out of the senior cafeteria I didn’t realize was off-limits.

But then something happened.

A boy walked over. Another freshman.
“Hi, I’m Sam,” he said.
He sat down. Ate lunch with me. Introduced me to his friends. And just like that, I wasn’t invisible anymore.

We were best friends for the next four years.

Everyone Needs a Sam

Sam was everything I wasn’t—confident, outgoing, magnetic. He pulled me into his world: basketball games, guitar sessions, summer camp, double dates. He even inspired me to be a counselor-in-training at a camp in New Hampshire, where I had my first kiss—from a French Canadian girl. I walked away thinking, “I’m now an international kisser.” (17-year-old logic, right?)

Sam called me into life. He helped me say yes to things I would’ve avoided. And he never hogged the spotlight—he always let others shine.

The Party of a Lifetime

Fast forward to senior year. I had switched schools, but Sam and I still stayed close. One day, he called me up:
“Debbie’s throwing a black-tie charity ball—celebs, athletes, New York socialites. She said you can come, too.”

We showed up early—me in a rented tux, completely out of my element. Valet parking. Waiters with hors d’oeuvres. Debbie’s mansion just blocks from Bruce Springsteen’s house.

We were surrounded by lights, music, laughter, and wealth I couldn’t imagine. At 3 a.m., overstimulated and exhausted, I slipped into the quiet living room to catch my breath.

That’s when she walked in.

Barefoot, heels in hand, perfume soft in the air—Debbie sat down next to me on the couch like she had nowhere else to be. She leaned in, just inches from my face, and whispered…

“What are you thinking?”

I froze.

And instead of trusting the moment, I asked for permission.

“I want to kiss you,” I said.

She laughed. Hard. Loud. The kind of laugh you feel in your bones. And then… she walked away.

The movie moment I had imagined? Gone.

I left the party early, alone under the cold New Jersey stars in a tuxedo, humiliated and silent.

Why I’m Telling You This

Is this about my “glory days,” like Springsteen sings? Maybe a little. But more than that, it’s about what this story taught me.

Because yes—I missed the kiss.
But I also gained something much bigger.

I gained Sam.

He changed the trajectory of my life with one simple act: he saw me, sat down, and made space for me.

He didn’t just lead others—he led his life. He was bold, kind, and unafraid to take action.

And without him? I wouldn’t be telling you this story today.
I wouldn’t have had that first kiss.
I wouldn’t have known what friendship could look like.
I wouldn’t have felt like I belonged.

Sam, his family, and the way they lived were blessings. They gave me something to rise toward.

Who Was Your Sam?

Take a moment.

Who saw you when you felt invisible?
Who included you, believed in you, or helped you feel worthy—maybe for the first time?

Close your eyes and let yourself feel that moment.
And now… what if you became that person for someone else?

Your Challenge This Week

Push past your comfort zone.
Start a conversation.
Sit with someone who’s alone.
Invite someone into your circle.

Be a Sam.

Because you never know how far that ripple will travel.

You never know who might be telling their story one day—and naming you as the reason they believed they mattered.

Thriving Thought

That was today’s Thriving Thought.

If this story moved you, made you smile, or stirred something in your heart—leave a 5-star review or share it with someone who needs it.

And if you’re not sure what to write in the comments?

Just say:
“Thanks, Sam.”

Because without people like him—I wouldn’t have lived this story.
And you wouldn’t have heard it.

Until next time—trust your gut. Take the risk. And when in doubt?

Kiss the girl.

Please leave a 5 star review so I can have the algorithm show this site more.

Please support this blog by writing a comment or review to let others know about it.

keep up the great work.

My best, Stuart

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How W.I.V, Respect and a Story about a Yellow Car Helps You Thrive in Sobriety.

Posted on May 8, 2025 by Stuart Cline
sobrietynowwhat.com

🚗 Respect & Rust: What a Beat-Up Yellow Car Taught Me About Self-Worth in Sobriety

By Stuart Cline

Have you ever driven a car that felt like it might fall apart at any moment? That’s exactly where I found myself during my first year of college—behind the wheel of a rusty yellow car that coughed smoke and stalled at the worst times.

It may sound like a funny story now, but that car became one of my greatest teachers. It taught me about survival, gratitude, and—most unexpectedly—respect.

Not respect for others (though that’s important), but self-respect: the kind that fuels your recovery, strengthens your mindset, and shapes the life you’re building one sober day at a time.

Let me take you back…

🚙 The Rusty Yellow Car That Could (Sort Of)

I didn’t have a car during my first year of college, but I did have a boss kind enough to lend me one—a beat-up yellow relic with no power steering, no air conditioning, and a gas gauge stuck at a quarter tank. One of the windows wouldn’t even stay up, so I’d drive one-handed in the rain, holding the glass up with the other.

On one unforgettable summer evening, I was driving my girlfriend around town. She hated being seen in that car so much that she’d duck down at red lights to hide. During rush hour at a busy intersection, the light turned green… and the car sputtered, stalled, and died.

We were out of gas. Right there. In the middle of traffic.

Cars honked. People yelled. My girlfriend was mortified.

I told her, “Take the wheel—I’ll push.” And I did. I pushed that smoke-belching beast through a sea of angry drivers until we reached a gas station on the corner. By some miracle, we made it.

I drove that car for eight months. I knew every flaw, every prayer it needed to start. And in those months, something shifted in me.

That car was falling apart—but I wasn’t.
I was surviving. Learning. Growing.

And eventually, I realized:

You don’t have to stay stuck in survival mode forever.

🌱 Survival Mode Isn’t Your Forever

That car is a metaphor for how many people feel in early recovery—or even years into it. You’re holding it together, trying to get from point A to point B without breaking down. You pray, you adapt, you get through the day.

But after a while, that gets old. Exhausting.

And here’s where respect comes in.

When you respect yourself—truly—it changes how you live. You stop settling for a life that feels like barely functioning. You stop telling yourself, “This is the best I can do.”

You start believing:

“I deserve better—and I’m going to create better.”

🔑 What Respect Really Means in Sobriety

“After working with gang members who knew very well what respect was not. I came up with an easy to remember definition.

“Respect is giving Worth, Importance and Value to someone or something.” Stuart Cline

I like to break respect down into something simple:
W.I.V. – Worth, Importance, and Value.

  • WORTH – You are already worthy of love, healing, and happiness. You don’t have to earn it—you just have to remember it.
  • IMPORTANCE – Your life, your dreams, and your well-being matter.
  • VALUE – You are worth the investment: of time, energy, attention, and care.

Self-respect isn’t about perfection—it’s about direction.
It’s choosing progress over shame, courage over fear.

🔄 Where Are You Still Driving the Rusty Car?

Think about this for a moment:

Where in your life are you still “driving the rusty yellow car”?
What area feels like it’s barely holding together—but you’re still trying to push through?
What would it look like to upgrade?

This might mean:

  • Setting firmer boundaries
  • Speaking kindly to yourself
  • Saying no to chaos
  • Saying yes to things that make you feel alive
  • Getting support—because you deserve it

🧠 How to Practice Self-Respect Today

Here are 4 simple ways to start today:

  1. Acknowledge your worth.
    Write a sticky note that says “I am worth the effort” and put it on your mirror.
  2. Set boundaries.
    Protect your peace—even from your own inner critic.
  3. Invest in your future.
    Take a step—no matter how small—toward the life you actually want.
  4. Celebrate small wins.
    You don’t have to wait for the “big moment.” Every step counts.

💬 Final Thoughts + Affirmation

You don’t have to settle for barely functioning.
You don’t have to keep “pushing the car” alone.
You don’t have to stay in survival mode.

You can shift into something better. It starts with respect.

Affirmation of the Day:
I honor my past, I respect my path, and I walk forward with courage and self-love—because I am worth it.

If this post resonated with you, I’d love for you to share it with someone who might need a reminder that they deserve more.

And if you haven’t yet, check out the full podcast episode this story came from episode 10:
🎧 Sobriety Now What? – Episode 10 W.I.V and Respect: To Thrive in Sobriety.

Keep moving forward. You’ve got this.

Warmly,
Stuart Cline
Counselor. Coach.

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Feel the Fear and Jump: A Funny Story about Taking a Leap into the Future You Want.

Posted on April 28, 2025 by Stuart Cline
Sobrietynowwhat.com

Click the link below and listen to my new podcast episode 9 Feel the Fear and Jump at Sobrietynowwhat.com

https://www.buzzsprout.com/2390237/episodes/17052213

Feel the Fear and Jump a funny story about taking a leap into the future you want.

Welcome to Boost Your Spirit — where small changes create big transformations.
I’m Stuart Cline — a master’s-level substance abuse counselor who has helped thousands of people over the past 25 years live more of the life they were always meant for — sober, strong, and free.

Today, I want to talk about something we all face at some point — whether you’re new to sobriety, rebuilding your life, or just trying to live a little more courageously:
Fear.

You know the voice.
The one that whispers:

  • “You can’t.”
  • “You’ll get hurt.”
  • “You’re not good enough.”

Fear tries to keep our light small, dim, and hidden.
But not today.

Today, we break the chains.
Today, we feel the fear — and jump anyway.

The Bridge That Changed Everything

You’ve probably heard it before — from a parent, a teacher, or a friend:
“If everybody jumped off a bridge, would you do it too?”

The expected answer, of course, is “No, I think for myself.”

But sometimes — just sometimes — the leap you’re afraid to take is the one that changes your life.

When I was 12 years old, I literally jumped off a bridge into the ocean — terrified, heart pounding — and I was better for it.

Let me take you back.

Growing up, my family moved often — New York, Canada, Michigan, New Jersey — but every summer, one thing stayed the same:
We went to Rhode Island to visit my grandmother and my cousins.

Near my grandmother’s house stood the bridge.
The one every cool teenage cousin had jumped off for generations.
Everyone, except me.

When I was 11, I stood on the ledge in my cutoff jeans, heart hammering — and I chickened out.
I made the long half-mile walk of shame back to my grandmother’s house, dry, defeated, and humiliated.
That feeling burned inside me for an entire year.

Next summer would be different.
No matter what — I was going to jump.

Facing the Monsters (Real and Imagined)

There were real reasons not to jump:

  • The stories of kids hitting rocks and getting hurt.
  • The giant brass sign that read “No Jumping – Violators Will Be Prosecuted.”
  • And let’s not forget the creatures lurking below — squid, crabs, eels.

Every fear you could imagine lived in that water.

But a bigger reason pushed me forward: I had to save face.
The pain of humiliation was worse than the fear of broken bones.

For a whole year, every night, I visualized it:
Standing on the ledge.
Leaping with a powerful roar.
Yelling the forbidden “F-bomb” all the way down like a lion, fearless and free.

I imagined becoming a legend at the family bonfires.
This was going to be my victory.

The Big Day

The next summer, things had changed.
The old stone bridge was gone, replaced by a newer, even taller one.
Rumors swirled that debris from the old bridge still lay hidden in the water.

My fear spiked.
But the night before, a phrase played over and over in my mind like a drumbeat:
“Feel the fear and jump. Feel the fear and jump.”

The next day, it was high tide — the perfect (and safest) moment.
My cousins and I walked to the bridge, hearts pounding, lookouts stationed to watch for boats and police.

One by one, my cousins jumped.
And then — it was my turn.

Palms sweaty, heart pounding, I climbed onto the ledge.
The world tilted.
The river below looked impossibly far away.

My mind screamed:
“Feel the fear and jump! Feel the fear and jump!”

I heard my cousin Monty shout:
“Stuart, JUMP!”

And without another thought — I leapt.

Not Quite the Movie Scene I Envisioned

In my mind, I had pictured a deep, powerful roar as I soared majestically through the air.

Reality?
A short, high-pitched “F—!” escaped my mouth like Julia Childs auditioning for an action movie.

It wasn’t graceful.
It wasn’t fierce.
And it definitely wasn’t dignified.

Instead of floating down like Mary Poppins, time froze.
I was suspended in the air — terrified, confused — and realizing I couldn’t even see the river past my own belly!

I bent forward to look — and that’s when it happened.
SMACK.

The belly-flop heard around the world.

The impact knocked the wind out of me.
Stunned, aching, I somehow paddled my way to the surface.

My cousins were shouting from the bridge:
“Are you okay?!”
“That was SO LOUD!”

I could barely breathe, let alone answer.
But eventually, I made it to shore — dripping wet, battered, but victorious.

That day, I wasn’t just part of the tradition.
I became part of something bigger: my own courage story.

The Lesson That Lasted a Lifetime

Years later, I had the chance to jump off that same bridge — this time with my daughter by my side.
And what did I tell her as we stood together at the edge?

“Feel the fear and jump.”

She did.
We did.
We walked back dripping wet with pride — together.

How This Story Connects to Sobriety

You might be wondering — what does jumping off a bridge have to do with thriving in sobriety?

Everything.

  • Fear isn’t a stop sign.
  • Fear is a signal you’re alive — and growing.
  • Courage is standing at the edge.
  • Bravery is jumping anyway.

And your WHY — your reason for staying sober — must be stronger than your fear.
Because the truth is: your brain’s job is to keep you safe, not to make you happy.

That’s why fear screams so loudly when you’re about to grow into the life you’re meant to live.

Fear doesn’t mean you’re failing.
It means you’re expanding.

You Are Stronger Than You Know

Just like the Cowardly Lion, the Scarecrow, and the Tin Man — you already have everything you need inside you.

You already have the heart.
You already have the brains.
You already have the courage.

You just may not realize it yet.

Sobriety is one of the bravest journeys a person can ever take.
It’s messy sometimes.
You’ll have your own belly flops.
You’ll stumble.

But every time you face your fear and jump anyway —
you stretch your life wider, deeper, and stronger.

Final Words

You don’t have to be fearless to thrive in sobriety.
You just have to be willing to feel the fear — and jump.

Whatever your bridge is, wherever your fear lives —
Jump.
Trust yourself.
On the other side of fear is a life wilder, freer, and more beautiful than you can imagine.

You’ve already proven you have what it takes by being sober.
You are courageous.
You are brave.
You are unstoppable.

This is just the beginning.
Your greatest chapters are still waiting to be written.

Thanks for being here today.
I’m Stuart — reminding you:

“Sobriety isn’t the end — it’s the beginning of everything that’s possible.”

Would you like me to also create a catchy blog post title, a meta description, and a Pinterest pin description to help you promote this on your blog and social media? 🚀
(If yes, I’ll bundle it up for you next!)

Posted in Sobriety Now What | Tagged | 2 Comments